The Diary of Butters Stotch
by Teklah
Summary: The diary of Butters Stotch. Enough said.
1. Chapter 1

Yes, there will be slash in future chapters. Just thought I'd warn you.

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Dear Diary,

Guess what? I talked to Kenny again today! I'm still not sure why he talks to me; he has his other friends, Cartman, Kyle, and Stan. It makes me nervous sometimes, because I never know what to say to him. I always stutter when I talk to him, at least more than usual, but he just laughs. Its weird coz most people get really frustrated and just stop listening to me whenever I stutter that much, but Kenny never does that. No, Kenny's nice; I wonder why do so many people call him a prostitute? …Maybe I should find out what a prostitute means, first.

Cartman told me once, "_That poor piece of trash will fuck _anything- ," he stopped for a second and gave me this wierd look, "-_or_ anyone _that moves_." (I'm still trying to figure out what that look was for.)

I thought that was kinda mean, coz Kenny is a real nice guy, at least he's nicer than most people. He always smiles at me and he even gave a hug yesterday, which was nice, even if his hands slipped down a little. Kyle was standing there, watching us. He had a strange look on his face, I don't know why, though. He whispered something to Stan, who shook his head in surprise. " No way, dude!" I heard him laugh. Kyle glared at him.

Kyle is scary sometimes. He's been in more fights than anyone can count, even though I know it's mostly with Cartman. I think it's really Cartman's fault for always calling him a "stupid Jew!" and trying to do stuff to Kyle that might get him killed. Once I saw him put some kind of powder stuff in Kyle's drink when he wasn't looking. Stan saw him doing it and took the drink away before Kyle could swallow it, and that was the first time Cartman got beat up by Stan instead of Kyle. I wonder why Stan got so mad at Cartman, it only looked like baking soda or something. When I asked him that, he got mad at me and said,

"Butters, you douche! That was _not_ baking soda!"

"Oh, w-well then what was it?" I was really confused.

Stan rolled his eyes at me and told me, "_Never mind._"

"G-gee Stan, y-you must care about Kyle _a_ _lot_ if you beat Cartman up for him, just b-because of b-baking powder." Stan got really red, almost as red as Kyle's hair even, and looked even madder.

"Damn it, Butters! It wasn't baking powder either!" Stan yelled, and then he walked away looking awfully embarrassed. I didn't know talking about baking powder could embarrass someone that much. He walked over to Kyle, who was frowning at a bottle of pesticide he was holding. He scowled at Cartman, who was holding a tissue over his nose. Cartman flipped him off right when the teacher walked in, and got detention.

Not much happened after that. Anyways it's late so I better get to bed before Mom finds out I'm still awake. Good night, Diary. Maybe I should give you a name. Hmm… how does Damien sound? I think I heard that name a long time ago, and I always liked it. Well, I hope you like your new name, Damien! Goodnight.

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	2. Chapter 2

Yay! You guys are too awesome! I really wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, so I'm glad you like it! **maybeVADERsomedayLATER**Since Butters was talking about how Eric was always doing stuff that could get Kyle killed, it is safe to assume that what Eric put in Kyle's drink was a kind of poison. After all, Cartman is insane. **Brat-Child3: **Thank you, I'm so flattered! I love writing Butters, and I love him and Kenny! **Mordac: **Yes, I realize that doing that is tacky, but I needed to know that there were actually people reading it and that I wasn't wasting my time typing for no reason.

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Damien,

It's Friday today, but Mom won't let me go anywhere. She says I'm grounded because I've been a bad boy. Yes, I should be ashamed of myself! Getting a B on my report card, instead of an A! So I'm gonna stay in my room for the rest of the day, but that's okay, coz I can just write to you.

In school today Kenny talked to me again, and he even invited me over to eat lunch with him! When I sat down, Cartman looked really angry at something, coz he had a real big scowl on his face. He kept looking at me, and then rolling his eyes at Kenny. I wonder what he did. Kyle and Stan didn't really talk to me much either, they really only talked to each other. I think they were arguing about who would spend the night at each other's house. It went something like this:

Kyle: No, dude, you can't come over to my house, Ike is having his friends over.

Stan: Well, I don't wanna stay in my house! Shelly's being a total bitch!

Kyle: Yeah, but at least you won't have three little kids running all over the place.

Stan: Good point…

Me: Well, y-you could come over to my house if you w-want.

Stan: Err…no thanks, Butters. I think we're fine with my house. Right, Kyle?

Kyle: Right.

Oh, well, they probably didn't wanna stay here because it's so dirty! Mom says it's my fault because I never clean the house, and she's always too busy with other things. I always see her painting the house, first the inside, then the outside. Once she's done, she comes back inside and starts over. I guess Mom really wants our house to look nice, but she can't do everything. Maybe I should start cleaning the house to help her make it look nice! I will, as soon as she tells me I can come out of the room. I hope she does that soon. It's been four hours now…I'm getting kinda hungry, Damien.

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Sorry if it's a little short, but the chapters are diary entries after all. I'll try making up for it by updating fast! Or as fast as I can, at least!


	3. Chapter 3

I told you I'd try to update fast! Chapter 3 (or the third page of Butter's diary, whatever you wanna call it).

And what is wrong with my account! When I first uploaded my second chapter, it went to my other story instead of this one, and I had to fix it twice! It looked like it was my other story that was updated, instead of this one. But when I clicked on this one, it had _two _chapters, but it only said it had one, while my other story had _one_ chapter, when it said it had two! Has that ever happened to anyone else? Oh, well. At least it's all fixed now.

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Damien,

I'm feeling kinda sick today. It's Saturday and I still can't go anywhere, because Mom says I have a fever. Yesterday she came in my room and gave me some food before I went to bed, and I saw some green stuff on it, but I wasn't sure what it was. I ate it anyway, coz I was really hungry, but I felt real sick afterwards.

Dad took me to the doctor a little while ago, and I told him what I ate and asked him what the green stuff could've been. The doctor said it might've been paint on my food, and that's why I feel sick! So that's what the green stuff was! I told Mom, and she got awful mad at me. Even if I wasn't sick, I'd still be grounded because I can't control my appetite! I ought to know better than eating dirty food! So, I'm staying in my room again, like yesterday. I wanted to go ice skating, but that's okay coz now I have more time to write to you, Damien!

When Dad and I were on our way back from the doctor's, I saw Kenny walking with Cartman. I waved at him, and he waved back and smiled at me! Cartman just rolled his eyes, kinda like yesterday. I wonder why he kept doing that.

Dad and I were just walking home coz he didn't have a car. Well, he did, but he said that when Mom used it she accidentally drove it into a tree. They were still getting it repaired, so for now we had to walk. I asked him when that had happened, but he told me it wasn't important and I stopped asking.

I didn't really mind that we didn't have a car though, because otherwise Kenny wouldn't have been able to come over to talk to me! Cartman stayed behind; I think he walked into one of the restaurants along the street.

Kenny asked me where I was going, I told him I just got back from the doctor's and was on my way home.

"You're sick but you're walking home in the snow?" He asked me.

"W-well, my Dad's car is being repaired; s-so we have to walk," I told Kenny. He asked me a couple more questions, and he walked with me all the way home! When we got there, though, Dad told us Kenny had to go because I was sick and needed to rest. But I don't think I need to rest, my stomach just hurts a little. I wish Kenny were still here, I don't like being alone in my room all the time.

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Damien,

I felt a lot better today, and Mom even let me go ice skating after we went to church! I went to Stark's pond, and I was gonna start skating right away but I saw two other people there. I wasn't sure who it was at first, coz they were standing behind a couple trees, so I went closer and guess who it was? Stan and Kyle!

"Butters! What are you, uh, doing here!" Stan asked when he saw me. I wonder why his face was so red. It was cold out there!

"I c-came here coz I wanted to skate. W-what are you two doing?" I asked them, and Stan gave Kyle a look I didn't really understand.

"Nothing, Butters, Stan just wanted tell me something," Kyle said. "What was it you wanted to say, Stan?" Kyle looked sorta confused.

"I um…err…ugh, never mind," Stan said. He sounded real nervous, I can't think of any reason why, though. He and Kyle have been best friends forever, so I don't know why Stan would be nervous around him. Was it me then? It thought that maybe it was my fault, because he didn't want me to hear what he was gonna say. So I said goodbye and left them there.

I still wanted to skate, so I stayed at the pond for a few more hours, and Stan and Kyle left as soon as I walked away. Once I was done I went home. I didn't see Kenny today at all, but I guess I can always talk to him tomorrow, during school. Mom's calling me for dinner; I guess I gotta go now. Goodnight, Damien!

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Review please! I'd love to hear what people think so far!


	4. Chapter 4

Damien,

When I went to school, I didn't see Kenny today either. I thought that maybe he was sick or something; that was probably why I didn't see him yesterday.

When I was walking home from school, I bumped into this real funny looking guy. He was carrying around a shovel, and had a cigarette in his mouth. He got awful mad at me for bumping into him, and started yelling at me for making him drop his last cigarette. At least I think that's what he was yelling at me for; he had a kind of accent that made him a little hard to understand at first. But before he finished what he was saying, he stopped all of a sudden, and just sort of stared at me. I didn't know why he was doing that, but then he asked me if I was one of Kenny's friends. I was real surprised; I never would've guessed that he knew Kenny, since I've never seen them with each other. I told him yeah, I was.

"Yez, I recognize you now from one of ze pictures," he said. (I'm writing down our conversation, so later I won't forget it.)

"W-what…?" I was surprised again. Did that mean Kenny has a picture of me? ...I don't think I've ever given him one. "S-so, you know Kenny?" I asked.

"I just veesited him at hiz house, and he iz…ah, sick…with…ze cold, I theenk."

"Oh." So, I was right, after all. Kenny was absent because he was sick. "Is he okay?"

"…Eet is just a cold, I am sure he will be fine." He had a strange look on his face, like he didn't really believe what he was saying. I don't know why he looked like that, since he did just say it was only a cold. Maybe Kenny was _really_ sick; I hope not though.

I saw the strange guy check his watch, and then make a face, "Ugh, I have to go now, or my muzza will ground me again for being late to church." He walked away before I could even ask for his name, and I heard him muttering, "…_what kind of muzza makes their child go to church on a_ _Monday…_?"

Oh, and I saw Stan and Kyle walking through the hallway together, when I was on my way to one of my classes. Kyle kept giving Stan these really confused looks, and when I walked past them I heard him ask Stan, "What's wrong, dude? You've been acting weird since yesterday."

Stan just shook his head and sighed, making Kyle look even more confused. I was kinda confused too; Stan _has_ been acting weird for a while now…I wonder what it was? Maybe I'll find out tomorrow. For now, I have to go and help Mom cook dinner coz yesterday she broke her arm trying to…well I'm not exactly sure what she was trying to do. I didn't really ask, since she didn't look like she wanted to tell me. Oh, well, I'll just ask Dad once he gets home from shopping…wonder why it always takes him so long just to buy a few things?

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_As always, please leave a review. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

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**Tuesday**

I finally saw Kenny at school today! He was by his locker, so I stopped and talked to him.

I asked him if his cold was better. He just looked at me and said, 'What co…oh, yeah, I feel a lot better now, thanks.' So I guess Kenny's okay now, which is good because I was starting to worry. I noticed something different about him though, and I asked him, 'Kenny, how did you get that bruise on your face?' He had a black eye, and a real dark purple bruise on his cheek; the skin along his jaw was all scraped and red, like someone scratched it or something. (And for some reason, he was wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck shirt, which was really weird, since I've never seen him dress that way before. Maybe he borrowed a shirt from Kyle or something. I've heard him complaining before about how his parka was always covered in stains.)

'…Baseball accident,' Kenny told me after a while. 'Oh.' I didn't know baseball could be so dangerous. I wanted to talk to him some more, but then the bell rang and Kenny left real quickly. I guess he was in a hurry to get to his class.

I didn't see him again for the rest of school; he wasn't in the cafeteria during lunch, and the only class I had with him wasn't till tomorrow. I did see that one guy again, though.

He walked into my science class right before the bell rang, and at first I didn't recognize him without the cigarette and shovel. The teacher announced to us that he was a new student who just transferred to this school, called Christophe. So at least I know his name now, even though I still don't really know anything else about him.

I guess he saw me too, because he looked right at me. When the teacher told him to pick a seat, he sat down in the chair right next to mine! Then he asked me if I saw Kenny today, and I told him I did, right before class. He got this real surprised expression on his face, as if he hadn't expected Kenny to be at school today. I asked him why he was so surprised, but he didn't get to tell me, because our science teacher turned around and yelled at us to stop talking.

I wanted to stop by Kenny's house to see if he was there, but Mom said I had to go with Dad to get some groceries. He was supposed to do that yesterday, but I guess he got sidetracked and went to a different store instead. Yesterday, he came home carrying a bag of stuff that _wasn't_ food, making Mom awful mad; now she's making me come with him to make sure Dad gets the right stuff this time. So I guess I better get ready now.

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**Wednesday **

Today is a holiday, so I stayed home helping Mom around the house, since I didn't have school. Dad left a while ago; I think he said he was meeting with some friends. I was cleaning the living room, so I went upstairs to get the vacuum from Mom and Dad's room. It was in their closet, and when I got it out, I saw a box that was just behind the vacuum.

I know I probably shouldn't have opened it, but I wanted to know what it was. When I looked inside, there were a bunch of magazines and DVDs in it. I didn't think it was so bad at first, but then when I looked at it some more, I finally recognized what it was! Craig (one of my friends) showed me something like that the other day! He called it 'porn' or something. I think that's what's in the box. I'm not exactly sure what 'porn' is, but the two guys on the cover looked like they were doing the same thing that was in Craig's magazine.

Kyle had been sitting behind us at the time, and he made a weird choking noise when he saw it, and turned away looking a little sick (I thought Stan was supposed to be the one with the weak stomach?). When I asked Craig what it was, he gaped at me, 'You don't _know_? How do you not know what porn is? It's-'

'Ugh, Craig, just put it away. Butters, porn is sick, okay? Especially the gay porn that he's showing you. Don't look at it,' Kyle had said from behind us. Craig had glared at him, but he put the magazine away in his backpack. Kyle's usually always right, so now I'm sorry I looked in that box, since he'd probably say it was sick, too…but why? ...And I wonder if the box of magazines and DVD's belonged to Mom, or Dad?

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